Finding Clarity in Disconnecting: The Power of Intentional Unplugging

Hurricane Helene came through, not just bringing strong winds and heavy rain but also an unexpected pause in my life. For nearly two days, I was without internet access, disconnected from my usual routine of being on my laptop, creating, managing, and engaging with the online world. At first, I was frustrated. As someone who is always doing something—whether it’s for my business or my creative outlets—the thought of not having access to my usual tools felt rough, almost like a part of me was missing.

But as those two days passed, I came to realize that perhaps this outage was exactly what I needed. It wasn’t just a break from the internet; it was a break from the constant busyness, the endless notifications, and the pressure to always be "on." And while I didn’t achieve the complete clarity I hoped for, I did experience a sense of recharge and reflection that I hadn’t realized I desperately needed. This experience taught me the importance of disconnecting—intentionally.

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The Initial Struggle

Let’s be honest—at first, being without internet access was frustrating. My initial reaction was a sense of panic: What about my work? What if someone needs me? How will I keep up with everything? Like many of us, I’ve grown so accustomed to being plugged in all the time that the thought of being disconnected felt uncomfortable, almost unsettling. I kept reaching for my laptop, as if somehow it would miraculously connect, and my productivity could resume.

This initial frustration highlights just how deeply intertwined our lives have become with technology. It's second nature for most of us to wake up and immediately check our phones, scroll through social media, or open our laptops to start the day. But as the hours passed, I began to question: Why am I so reliant on being constantly connected?

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The Reflection and Recharge

As the day progressed, something shifted. With no internet to distract me and no projects to occupy my time, I found myself turning inward. I began to reflect—not just on the things I needed to get done but on myself, my goals, and my emotional well-being. It was a rare moment where I had the mental space to breathe without feeling rushed.

Though I had hoped for some grand epiphany or moment of clarity, what I found instead was a sense of calm that I didn’t expect. The forced unplugging gave me the chance to recharge in a way I hadn’t realized I needed. Without the constant pings, notifications, and pressure to respond, I was able to focus on the present moment. The quietness brought peace. I reconnected with activities I hadn't given myself time for—reading, simply sitting with my thoughts, and journaling without the usual interruptions.

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The Importance of Intentional Unplugging

This experience reminded me that unplugging shouldn’t just be something we do when we’re forced to by a power outage or natural disaster. It should be something we intentionally incorporate into our routines. We live in a world that’s always on, always connected, and it’s easy to lose ourselves in the noise.

The constant barrage of information, notifications, and to-do lists can leave us mentally drained, even if we don’t realize it. Unplugging, even for just a short time, allows us to reset, regain focus, and come back to our work and relationships with a clearer, more grounded perspective. It can reduce stress, improve our ability to concentrate, and increase creativity. When we step back from the digital world, we give our minds the space to wander, to reflect, and to rejuvenate.

This is especially important for creatives and entrepreneurs, like myself, who rely heavily on technology for work. Being constantly "on" can hinder creativity and lead to burnout. Taking intentional time to unplug allows the mind to reset, and in that space, new ideas and inspiration can emerge.

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Tips for Incorporating Unplugged Time Into Your Routine

Here are some practical ways to incorporate intentional unplugged time into your life:

1. Set “No Device” Hours: Dedicate certain hours of the day when you will not use any electronic devices. Whether it’s the first hour after you wake up or an hour before bed, give yourself time to disconnect and start or end your day mindfully.

2. Create Tech-Free Zones: Designate specific areas of your home where no technology is allowed. This could be your bedroom, a reading nook, or even the dining room. By creating these boundaries, you’re carving out spaces where you can recharge without distraction.

3. Engage in Offline Activities: Use your unplugged time to do things that bring you joy outside of the digital world—read a book, journal, meditate, or take a walk. These activities not only help you relax but also foster creativity and mindfulness.

4. Start Small: If the thought of unplugging feels overwhelming, start small. Try going tech-free for 30 minutes a day and gradually increase that time as you become more comfortable with disconnecting.

5. Use Unplugged Time for Reflection: Incorporate journaling into your unplugged routine. Take this time to reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and goals. Without the distractions of social media or emails, you can focus on what truly matters to you.

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As I reflect on those two days unplugged, I realize how important it is to intentionally disconnect from the constant noise of the digital world. While the experience was initially uncomfortable, it gave me the space I needed to recharge and gain a fresh perspective on my work and well-being. I’m now more committed to incorporating intentional unplugged time into my routine—not just as a break but as a way to foster creativity, reduce stress, and reconnect with myself.

If you haven’t already, I encourage you to try unplugging—even if it’s just for a short time. You may be surprised by how much clarity, peace, and insight you can find when you step away from the screen and allow yourself to simply be.

Choosing Joy: Why Your Happiness Should Always Come First?

In relationships, especially long-term ones, we often find ourselves at crossroads where we must choose between our happiness and someone else’s. It’s a tough spot to be in, one that can lead to difficult conversations and even harder decisions. Recently, I found myself in such a situation with my boyfriend, and it brought back a flood of memories from a past relationship where I sacrificed my happiness for someone else. This blog post is about that realization—the importance of choosing your happiness, even when it’s hard.

Last night, my boyfriend and I had a deep conversation about the state of our relationship. As we talked, I felt the need to express something I’ve learned the hard way: the importance of doing what makes you happy, regardless of others’ thoughts, feelings, or opinions—even mine. I told him that his happiness is his responsibility, and it’s crucial that he prioritizes it, even if it means making difficult choices.

This conversation took me back to a moment years ago when I was talking to a co-worker about a past relationship. I was unhappy, feeling trapped, and not knowing what to do. My co-worker listened patiently and then said something that has stayed with me ever since: “I hate for you to give up your happiness just to make someone else happy. That’s not fair to you.” Her words hit me like a ton of bricks because they were true. I had been compromising my happiness for someone else’s comfort, and it was eating away at me. That moment was a turning point for me, and ever since, I’ve tried to live by the principle that no one can choose your happiness for you—it’s up to you to find it and nurture it, no matter what.

It’s easy to get lost in the needs and expectations of others, especially in relationships. But the truth is, your happiness is your own. It’s not something that can or should be handed over to someone else to manage. When we give up our happiness for others, we lose a piece of ourselves. It’s essential to prioritize your happiness, even when it’s hard, because only you can truly know what brings you joy, peace, and fulfillment.

This doesn’t mean relationships should be entirely self-serving. Relationships thrive on mutual respect, love, and sometimes compromise. But there’s a line where compromise becomes self-sacrifice, and that’s where things start to go wrong. True love and respect in a relationship include supporting each other’s happiness, even when it diverges from our own. It’s about finding a balance where both partners can thrive, not just survive.

I encourage you to take a moment and reflect on your own life and relationships. Are you truly happy? Are you living in a way that honors your desires, dreams, and well-being? If not, it might be time to make some changes. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary for living a fulfilled life.

Consider journaling or meditating on what truly makes you happy. Write down your thoughts, and be honest with yourself about where you might be compromising too much. Then, think about steps you can take to bring more of what makes you happy into your life—even if it means making some tough decisions.

Happiness is not a destination someone else can lead you to—it’s a path you must walk on your own terms. You owe it to yourself to seek out what truly makes you happy and to live your life in a way that honors that pursuit.

Why I Journal: A Personal Journey

Personal Connection to Journaling

I started journaling when I was 15. It all began with my first locked diary, a precious gift that offered me a safe space to write down my feelings. As a teenager, I often felt uncomfortable talking to someone about my emotions, so my diary became my confidant. Over the years, journaling has truly been my sanctuary, a place to unburden the load and reflect on my thoughts and experiences.

One of the most significant periods of my life where journaling played a crucial role was when I first became a mom. It was a time of immense joy but also great sorrow, as I lost my mom just two months before my daughter was born. Journaling helped me navigate my complex emotions, allowing me to process my grief while embracing the new chapter of motherhood.

The Benefits of Journaling

For me, journaling is a safe space where I can be completely honest with myself. It offers me clarity when I am stuck and helps me move forward. Through journaling, I can see myself for who I truly am and accept every part of my being. It's a place where I can pour out my thoughts, secrets, dreams, and desires without fear of judgment.

Writing down my thoughts helps me unburden my mind, and it’s a place where I can cry if needed. Sometimes, simply putting my feelings into words helps dry my tears. The process of journaling has a therapeutic effect, providing a sense of relief and helping me find clarity amidst chaos.

 My Journaling Techniques and Practices

I don’t follow any specific journaling techniques or prompts. I usually write about whatever is on my heart or troubling me at the moment. There is no set routine for my journaling practice; I journal whenever I feel the need to let it all out. Sometimes this means writing weekly, other times it might be once a month, depending on what is going on in my life.

Writing down difficult thoughts and experiences helps me see things more clearly and process them better. For example, during times when nothing seemed to be going right and I felt like giving up, journaling about those difficult moments, especially the loss of my mom, helped me start the healing process.

The Impact of Journaling on My Life

Journaling has been a constant companion through my life’s ups and downs. When faced with challenging times, putting my thoughts on paper allowed me to see things from a different perspective and find solutions I might have overlooked. It's a practice that has helped me grow, heal, and understand myself better.

I’m currently diving into meditation and hope that it will complement my journaling practice. Both practices offer a way to connect with my inner self and foster a sense of peace and clarity.

Advice for New Journaler

To anyone new to journaling or struggling to maintain the habit, my advice is simple: just start. Write about whatever you are feeling at the moment, even if it’s just one word. Reflect on that word and let your thoughts flow from there. Remember, it’s your story to write, no one else’s, and there is no right or wrong way to journal.

Journaling can be particularly beneficial for African American women. There is an old saying that African American people don't go to therapy, and unfortunately, this belief still persists. If this mindset prevails, journaling can serve as a powerful tool for self-reflection and healing.

Connection to Melanin Meditations

Purchasing journals throughout the years, I often found myself searching for the right one but never quite finding it. As an African American woman, it is essential to have journals and accessories that resonate with my heritage and culture. This inspired me to create Melanin Meditations, a sanctuary for African American women who embrace journaling as a powerful conduit for self-discovery, empowerment, and inner peace.

At Melanin Meditations, we offer handmade journals that reflect the richness of melanin and are crafted to serve as tools for reflection, growth, and connection. We believe in celebrating unique journeys and stories through the transformative power of putting pen to paper. While we are a work in progress, our online shop features some of these handmade journals, and we are committed to providing resources that inspire and support our community.

In conclusion, journaling has been an invaluable part of my life, helping me navigate through both joyous and challenging times. It offers a safe space for self-expression and healing, and I am passionate about sharing this practice with others through Melanin Meditations.

Reflecting on Silence: Navigating Recognition and Self-Esteem in Relationships

Last week, I found myself submerged in an emotional fog, feeling disconnected and unappreciated in my relationship. Despite my boyfriend being close at hand, I felt as though I was fading into the background of our daily lives. I was quiet at home, speaking only when absolutely necessary. Deep down, I was yearning for him to notice my withdrawn demeanor and check in on me, but the silence persisted.

It’s not uncommon for me to express my feelings openly when something bothers me. Knowing this, perhaps he waited for me to speak up about whatever was on my mind. This time, however, I stayed silent, enveloped in my own contemplations and waiting, maybe unfairly, for him to take the first step.

I often think about the dynamics of recognition in relationships. I do a lot around our home, and sometimes it feels like my efforts just blend into the fabric of our everyday life, unseen. It's possible that I'm seeking acknowledgment as a way to validate my contributions, but I'm starting to realize there might be deeper issues at play—issues rooted in my own self-esteem.

Why do I crave recognition to the extent that I do? The truth is, my boyfriend does recognize and appreciate what I do, but sometimes, it just doesn’t feel like enough. It's becoming clear that my need for validation might be more about me than about him. This realization prompts me to question the underlying reasons for my expectations and whether they are fair to us both.

Could it be that my self-esteem is intricately tied to external validation? And if so, how can I begin to untangle these feelings and start nurturing a sense of self-worth that comes from within?

As I ponder these questions, I’m learning that communication might be the key. Perhaps it's time to break the silence—not only by expressing when I’m feeling overlooked but also by initiating conversations about the expectations we both hold in our relationship. It’s essential to understand and appreciate ourselves, and to find balance in the way we perceive and receive acknowledgment from others.

Navigating these emotional waters isn't easy, but it's a journey worth taking for the sake of personal growth and deeper connection. As I continue to explore these themes, I hope to cultivate a stronger sense of self and a more resilient, understanding partnership.

XoXo

Making the Best of What's Thrown Our Way: A Week in Reflection

Saturday morning has passed, and as I sit here in the calm of the afternoon, coffee in hand, I'm reflecting on a week that I shared about in a previous blog post—a week full of mishaps and spontaneous laughter. It was a reminder that life is truly about how we handle the unexpected events thrown our way.

Throughout the week, from dealing with rebellious printers in my craft room to the ongoing domestic chaos of unwashed dishes and lost AirPods, I found myself resorting to laughter more than frustration. This wasn't merely a way to lighten the mood; it was essential for maintaining my sanity. Rather than succumbing to the stress of each complication, I chose to laugh. This approach didn't solve the issues at hand, but it did transform my perspective, turning overwhelming challenges into manageable, and sometimes amusing, tasks.

Reflecting now, I realize that each moment of laughter and every shift in perspective was a victory. These instances helped me not just to cope, but to thrive amidst the disorder. They taught me that while I can't control everything that happens, I do have control over how I respond. By finding humor in my predicaments, I discovered joy and resilience in unexpected places.

So, here’s to making the best of what’s thrown our way. Whether it's a week filled with minor disasters or the everyday bumps of life, the ability to adapt and find humor is invaluable. This past week not only taught me about troubleshooting printers or managing household chores; it taught me about the power of flexibility, the relief that comes with laughter, and the joy of embracing life's imperfections.

As you navigate your own challenges, remember that sometimes the best response is to laugh and press on. Life is unpredictable, but our reactions can profoundly shape our experiences. Here's to finding humor, choosing joy, and making the best of whatever life throws our way. After all, isn’t that what living fully is all about?

Laughing Through It: Embracing the Chaos with a Smile

Life has a way of piling things up right when you least expect it. My recent experiences are a testament to that, a series of unfortunate events that, instead of pulling me under, taught me the power of laughter amidst chaos. And mind you, it's only Thursday.

Coming back from a four-day vacation, I was met with a sight all too familiar to most of us—the aftermath of leaving home unattended. Dishes stacked in the sink, laundry piling up, and it seemed like everything in my house decided it needed my immediate attention. Overwhelmed but determined to find some semblance of peace, I did what any sensible person would do: I ignored it all and headed straight to my craft room. Crafting, after all, has always been my sanctuary, a stress reliever that never fails. Or so I thought.

With grand plans to create some beautiful journals, I quickly discovered that my printers had other ideas. None of them wanted to cooperate, turning my stress-relief session into hours of troubleshooting that led nowhere. And what did I do? I laughed—a genuine, hearty laugh at the absurdity of it all—and walked away. No crafting happened that night, but something else did—a realization that sometimes, laughter is the only reasonable response.

Monday rolled around, bringing with it the inevitable return to work. Work, as it always does, proved to be draining, a relentless reminder of the vacation now firmly behind me. Yet, amidst the emails, meetings, and deadlines, I found myself laughing at the sheer predictability of it all. Returning home, the dishes still awaited, a mocking reminder of domestic duties I had no energy to face. And those printers? Still on strike. My reaction? Laughter, because at that point, what else could I do?

The universe, it seemed, wasn’t done with me yet. In a comedic twist that felt straight out of a sitcom, I managed to lose my AirPods. Not the case, just the AirPods. How does that even happen? In keeping with the theme of the week, I just laughed. It was either that or cry, and laughter felt like the healthier choice.

This week has been a masterclass in Murphy’s Law, where anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. Yet, through it all, laughter has been my unexpected companion, a beacon of light in a sea of chaos. It didn’t fix my printers, magically wash my dishes, or bring back my lost AirPods, but it did something far more important—it reminded me of the power of perspective.

Finding humor in my misadventures became a lifeline, a way to float above the frustrations rather than be drowned by them. It taught me resilience in a way I hadn’t expected, showing me that while I can’t control everything, I can control my reaction. Choosing laughter helped me navigate the week not with despair, but with a lightness of heart that made everything seem a little less daunting.

To anyone out there feeling overwhelmed by the messiness of life, remember to find your laughter. It might not change your circumstances, but it can change your outlook. And sometimes, that shift in perspective is all we need to keep moving forward, one laugh at a time. Whether it’s crafting gone wrong, a never-ending pile of dishes, or the mysterious case of the disappearing AirPods, a good chuckle might just be the best response we have. And remember, it’s only Thursday—there’s still time for the week to turn around, or at the very least, for a few more laughs.

XoXo

Unveiling the Inner Symphony: Finding my Voice through Journaling

In a world that often encourages conformity and uniformity, discovering one's authentic voice can feel like a journey into the unknown. For many, including myself, this expedition of self-discovery has been illuminated by the timeless practice of journaling.

Journaling isn't merely about jotting down daily events or recounting mundane occurrences. It's a sanctuary where the mind can roam freely, where emotions find expression, and where the soul's whispers can finally be heard amidst the cacophony of life.

As I embarked on this voyage of self-exploration through journaling, I found that the blank pages of my journal became a canvas for my thoughts, dreams, fears, and aspirations. In the quiet solitude of pen meeting paper, I discovered the courage to confront my innermost truths, unfiltered and unapologetic.

Initially, my entries may have seemed disjointed, fragmented pieces of my psyche scattered across the page. Yet, with each stroke of the pen, I began to weave a narrative of self-awareness and understanding. Through the act of writing, I found clarity amidst chaos, discovering patterns in my thoughts and emotions that had long eluded me.

Journaling became my compass, guiding me through the labyrinth of my own mind. It allowed me to untangle the knots of confusion and uncertainty, leading me towards a deeper understanding of who I am and what I stand for.

But perhaps the most profound revelation that journaling unveiled was the discovery of my own voice. In a world where voices often blend into the chorus of societal expectations, finding one's unique melody can feel like an act of rebellion.

Yet, within the pages of my journal, I found the courage to sing my own song, to speak my truth with unwavering conviction. Each word penned became a testament to my authenticity, a declaration of selfhood in a world that too often seeks conformity.

Through journaling, I found solace in the knowledge that my voice matters, that my story is worth telling. It empowered me to embrace my imperfections, to celebrate my quirks, and to boldly step into the fullness of who I am.

In the tapestry of my journal, I found not just a record of my past, but a roadmap for my future. It became a sacred space where dreams were nurtured, goals were set, and aspirations were given wings to soar.

So to anyone who may be searching for their voice amidst the noise of the world, I urge you to pick up a pen and begin writing. For within the pages of your journal lies the key to unlocking the symphony of your soul, a melody waiting to be heard by the world.

XoXo,

Tamberly

She Writes Wisdom